P.S. I can't hear my feet
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
