this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
