Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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