Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize