Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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