i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
