Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
