arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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