my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
