On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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