If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
