Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
