Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
