ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
