It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
