And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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