dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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