Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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