it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
