How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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