Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
