but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
