i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
