If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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