never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I wish you could order shots online.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
