are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize