Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
