NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
