i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize