We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize