You smell like a Billy Joel song
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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