Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
