Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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