Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
