She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
