don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Randomize
