Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
