I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize