I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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