i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
