I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
