I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
