saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
