She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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