hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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