he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Randomize
