meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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