just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
