I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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