This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
