Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
