I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
