I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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