You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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