thus making me awesome and them whores
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize