'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize