Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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