even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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