never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
